Call me unapologetic, but that's me.

There are a lot of things that I haven't enjoyed about life here in Cisco for the past three years. There have been a lot of low times, a lot of personal struggles and frustrations and uncertanties that I've had to deal with. I've had to deal with lonliness, work issues, losing friends, spiritual lessons, family crap, and probably the most difficult of all, learning to deal with all of things standing all alone on my own. For some reason tonight I'm being very reflective, and I'm beginning to see that these years have almost been a time of refining through the fire. Unpleasant and at times unbearable, but I've found a clearer picture of myself through the process. And even more important, I've learned how to accept and embrace all of these personal revelations. Here are some things I've found out about me.

I like good lookin' men. I do! I like looking at good lookin' men, and I'm ok with having high standards and only dating men that are good lookin' on the inside AND the outside. Call me shallow, but that's me.

I am sooo over holding my emotions in a neat little box. I love to laugh, and loudly, when I find something funny. When something pisses me off, I show that I'm mad. When someone does something that is just purely stupid, I don't mind expressing my opinion. Call me brazen, but that's me.

I think cheesey jokes are funny. I dance around like an idiot when nobody's watching...and sometimes when they are. :) I do stupid things to make people smile. Call me a dork, but that's me.

I am hard-headed. When I make up my mind, the only one who can change it is me. You will not talk me into doing something I truly do not want to do. I will do things the hard way just because I don't want to ask for help. Call me stubborn, but that's me.

I like being single. I don't want to have to share my life, my friends, my hobbies, my time, my money, my bed, my decisions, with anyone else. I don't want to have to care about somebody else's feelings. I don't want to have to take care of anybody but me. Call me selfish, but that's me.

I can be successful at pretty much anything I do. I am intelligent, honest, hard-working, and like I said, stubborn. Even if I don't have what it takes initially, I will work until I make it happen. Call me prideful, but that's me.

I hate stupidity. I hate dealing with idiots. If someone is incompetent, I think they should have to deal with the consequences of their stupidity. I don't think being an idiot should make life easier. Call me insensitive, but that's me.

I hold people to high standards. I believe that if you have a job to do, you should do it and you should do it right. I understand that people make mistakes, I definitely do, but that does not excuse laziness or poor work ethic. I expect you to doo what you're supposed to do and give it your best. Call me unforgiving, but that's me.

I like to be low-maintainence. I don't need a lot of fancy stuff to have a good time. I like a good game, sitting on the porch with friends, homecooked meals, cold beer, and junk food. I like growing my own food (I don't, but I'd like to lol) instead of buying pre-made stuff. One of the most enjoyable things in the world is driving in the sunshine with the windows down and the radio up. Call me simple, but that's me.

I am by no means perfect. Many of these characteristics are not necessarily good things, but they are nonetheless true. And as I've come to learn these things about myself, I have a deeper respect for who I am and more confidence. That is what I love the most about me.

Call me unapologetic, but that's me.